How to Work Through Real Estate Seller’s Remorse

Most are likely familiar with buyer's remorse, that feeling of guilt or regret after making a purchase, but sellers are no strangers to these feelings, especially in the real estate industry. Whether you are trying to sell your home quickly for cash or are working with a realtor to help you get that perfect offer, seller's remorse can creep in when you least expect it at any point during the selling process. It is important to understand what to expect and how to avoid and work through the guilt so you can make the best decision for your future and avoid any potential consequences that come from backing out of a deal.

Consequences of Backing Out of the Deal

Putting your home on the market is a challenging feat, and seller's remorse can make matters worse. However, there can be costly consequences from backing out of a real estate deal or a contract. The severity of these consequences differs depending on how far along the selling process you are when these feelings hit.

If you haven't signed a contract, then you are in the clear. This includes signing a listing agreement with a real estate broker. While not all brokers or agents require the homeowner to commit to selling their home, some do, and if the homeowner changes their mind, they may owe the broker a commission for services performed. To avoid being surprised by this, it is imperative to discuss your concerns prior to signing.

If the seller backs out after signing a purchase agreement, they may incur penalties and even be sued by the buyer and their listing agent. While judges rarely force the homeowner to sell, they typically require the seller to pay damages.

What Causes Seller's Remorse

But even with these consequences in mind, many still opt to cancel the sale of their home when feelings of regret or guilt set in. These feelings may develop quickly or over time for a number of reasons.

Just like buyer's remorse, one of the foremost reasons these feelings of regret or guilt stems from making an impulsive decision. Maybe you saw the rates on homes going down and feared not getting a return on the investment you put into your home, so you quickly put your home on the market. But now, as the seller, you are legally obligated to complete the sale of a home you didn't truly wish to leave.

Or perhaps you were hoping to downsize, but then the thoughts of selling or giving away unneeded but sentimental items like extra furniture or large dish sets passed down through your family have you questioning if you are truly ready for this step. Or perhaps you haven't been able to find the perfect house to move into, incurring more stress and regret with thoughts of "where will I live" if your current home gets an offer too quickly.

Some factors in the real estate industry may be completely out of your hands. For many going through a foreclosure or a short sale, the sale itself is inevitable and may come with the guilt of being unable to keep up with the mortgage payments. But even a situation where your finances are stable can have unexpected, uncontrollable factors that cause these rough emotions. For instance, you have not gotten your asking price and are now wondering at closing if it is too late to back out.

Even if you've thoroughly considered every detail, are financially stable, and get the perfect offer on your home, seller's remorse can still creep in. A job change or relocation, a change in relationship, or the needs of a growing family are common reasons people enter the real estate market, even if they love their current home. The memories created there may cause some not to want to leave. It's important to validate these feelings, so you can work through them without incurring "damages".

Dealing with Seller's Remorse

Consider Your Options and Reasons for Moving

As the old adage goes, "An act of prevention is worth a pound of cure." The same is true for seller's remorse, especially in matters of real estate. Before you list your home, take time to consider why you want to sell your home. Is not selling an option? Why or why not? Would not selling be a better option for you and your family? How quickly are you hoping to sell? What will you do if you get an offer right away? Do you have a plan for where you will go once the home sells?

You should also consider how much you are willing to negotiate the worth of your home and what are your non-negotiables. Know ahead of time when you will say no to an offer that isn't meeting your needs, and trust your gut to know when to compromise. Just try not to compromise on too much, or you may be hit with a hard dose of seller's remorse.

Face the Inevitable

Depending on the causes and your reason for selling, you can't always avoid feeling at least a little remorse as a seller, but you can find ways to work through it. It's alright to be sad about leaving. Understand that those feelings of regret may come as you prepare to say goodbye to your old home, and allow yourself to feel those emotions. Then, move on. 

Taking time to celebrate both what you had and what you will have in your new home will help you let go of the guilt and keep you from second-guessing your decisions.

Closing thoughts

While it is seldom talked about, seller's remorse can often play a significant role in many real estate transactions. Throughout the selling process, sellers can experience feelings of doubt, guilt, or regret that may cause them to cancel a sale on their old home, even if it may not be in their best interest. By being protective and taking time to work through the remorse, sellers can more confidently make informed decisions and move on, making a better life for themselves and their family in their new home.